You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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