Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
