the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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