Your dad touched me again.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
