I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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