ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
