Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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