well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
