Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
