seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize