So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
