So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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