That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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