whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
