Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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