Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
