I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
