he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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