omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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