I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize