dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
is it fun? or sober?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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