and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
