How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
