so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
