I think I just saw someone hide a body.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
