Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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