i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
