she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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