I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
