apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
