you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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