On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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