I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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