I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
