This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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