There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now