Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.

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  (607): Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day. http://tfl.nu/b0xj
  Replies (29) Good night (34371) Bad night (1446)
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  (925): View more from California

  and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.

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  (925): and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know. http://tfl.nu/ctra
  Replies (21) Good night (4561) Bad night (1364)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?

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  (971): you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything? http://tfl.nu/ldjb
  Replies (25) Good night (5460) Bad night (938)
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  (562): View more from California

  How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?

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  (562): How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std? http://tfl.nu/ee21
  Replies (26) Good night (741) Bad night (5298)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...

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  (734): My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party... http://tfl.nu/viwm
  Replies (11) Good night (702) Bad night (4520)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.

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  (586): You do realize it's a Tuesday, right? (1-586): You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life. http://tfl.nu/em8w
  Replies (22) Good night (8064) Bad night (904)
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  (661): View more from California

  I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.

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  (661): I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck. http://tfl.nu/we3a
  Replies (21) Good night (4094) Bad night (2196)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you

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  (720): Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you http://tfl.nu/jkt1
  Replies (20) Good night (5179) Bad night (1165)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."

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  (804): The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be." http://tfl.nu/zz4e
  Replies (7) Good night (825) Bad night (3153)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?

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  (260): Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement? http://tfl.nu/iy8f
  Replies (8) Good night (1127) Bad night (2832)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.

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  (860): once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore. http://tfl.nu/0b2i
  Replies (19) Good night (911) Bad night (5787)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  So what's going on?

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.

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  (630): So what's going on? (1-630): We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid. http://tfl.nu/vkkl
  Replies (4) Good night (880) Bad night (451)
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  (818): View more from California

  Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!

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  (818): Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security! http://tfl.nu/7slr
  Replies (2) Good night (352) Bad night (847)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.

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  (203): I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that. http://tfl.nu/el8i
  Replies (0) Good night (530) Bad night (319)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE

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  (732): Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE http://tfl.nu/w2ud
  Replies (1) Good night (60) Bad night (19)

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