Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned

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(309): View more from Illinois

I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..

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Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(807): View more from Ontario

I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.

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(360): View more from Washington

Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights

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(716): View more from New York

Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl

(585): View more from New York

Find him and marry him.

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