Texts From Last Night

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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.

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  (304): My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within. http://tfl.nu/zogn
  Replies (10) Good night (830) Bad night (3419)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.

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  (703): just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress. http://tfl.nu/rj37
  Replies (7) Good night (2312) Bad night (4056)
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  (408): View more from California

  Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it

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  (408): Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it http://tfl.nu/ddbo
  Replies (13) Good night (1668) Bad night (4890)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.

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  (480): omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house. http://tfl.nu/91p3
  Replies (60) Good night (2121) Bad night (6053)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked

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  (902): I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked http://tfl.nu/oens
  Replies (7) Good night (3041) Bad night (1102)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.

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  (618): Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing. http://tfl.nu/8pmo
  Replies (5) Good night (1129) Bad night (1908)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance

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  (919): Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance http://tfl.nu/6t4u
  Replies (2) Good night (2260) Bad night (815)
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  (530): View more from California

  Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.

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  (530): Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon. http://tfl.nu/gqwa
  Replies (9) Good night (1164) Bad night (1443)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.

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  (423): He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis. http://tfl.nu/f7rk
  Replies (7) Good night (1767) Bad night (557)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.

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  (814): The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends. http://tfl.nu/0kea
  Replies (1) Good night (805) Bad night (544)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.

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  (713): Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon. http://tfl.nu/r8yq
  Replies (4) Good night (1464) Bad night (569)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...

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  (573): Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta... http://tfl.nu/9xfu
  Replies (2) Good night (369) Bad night (604)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.

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  (607): Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far. http://tfl.nu/v6o0
  Replies (0) Good night (422) Bad night (751)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.

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  (513): I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me. http://tfl.nu/ewcq
  Replies (2) Good night (390) Bad night (709)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".

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  (720): So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar". http://tfl.nu/5mkf
  Replies (0) Good night (372) Bad night (228)

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