The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing