I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
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How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
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He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.