I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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