scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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