You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
