let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
