Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
