Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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