Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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