i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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