ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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