capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
