i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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