i permit you to call me
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
