Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
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