UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
