I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
