Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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