Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
