I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
