She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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