woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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