I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
