He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
this boner is exhausting
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
