okay pat passed out under dana's car
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
