i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
